One More Bite

Ayri

Six months later

I stood in front of the mirror and stared at my reflection. My hair was finally back to the length I preferred it. Right after the trial, I’d asked Nicolai if we could get my hair cut. He’d brought me to a place that only deals with styling hair. They massaged my scalp and then cut it all off, so it was as short as Nicolai’s.

The omega in the reflection was no longer recognizable. Which might have been the reason I did it. But I hated looking at him. I didn’t like what I saw. The dark, haunted look in his eyes that were no longer hidden behind the long strands of blond hair. How pale and thin his face was. No definition in his body at all.

That’s not what I saw in the mirror now, though. My hair was again to my jaw and if I needed to hide from the world, I could tilt my head and my hair would fall into my face. Not that I had that need anymore. I felt good.

I’d gained some weight, so I didn’t look so hollow. While I’d never be defined and toned like the alphas, there was some definition to my torso and arms now. I traced my fingers over the lines in my abs. They were there, a suggestion that maybe more could be there, but I didn’t need more. This was nice.

Usually, I tried not to look at myself from my neck to my waist, where I was covered in half a dozen bite marks. Right now, their presence was just background noise. I hadn’t gotten any better about blocking them on my own, but Doome somehow drowned the rest out, leaving them dull and muted.

They weren’t always like that. At the most inopportune times, they were loud and obnoxious. Usually with arousal or anger. I hated them and made sure that they felt that every chance I could.

At least, I think I did. There was no real science behind projecting your feelings through bonds.

True to his word, Ryan experimented with his own pack about diffusing bonds and projecting emotions to follow one bond and all that. He reported back almost weekly. Honestly, I loved the conversations. I looked forward to them. The whole thing was fascinating.

That didn’t mean that I’d had Nicolai (or anyone) bite me yet. While I wanted to get rid of the other alphas, I was afraid of adding one more ‘voice’ to the five already there. It was already maddeningly overwhelming having so many presences inside me; I lost myself at times. I couldn’t think clearly. Sometimes, I wasn’t even sure who I was or why I was feeling a certain way.

I knew Nicolai was different from them. I’d known it all along. Had he already bitten me before like I’d wanted him to but never found the courage to tell him, it would be different. I was sure of it.

Then there was the problem that Nicolai would be subjected to the other alphas in a secondary way, like I was to the other five alphas. They were there. I could feel them and their emotions. They weren’t as strong, but they were always there. I didn’t want Nicolai to feel that. To be constantly reminded of the pack he ran from.

But today was the day. I was ready.

For a minute longer, I studied all the bites on me. This was probably the first time I’d ever looked at them in the mirror intentionally. There wasn’t any pattern. They were wherever their mouths could reach while they were fucking me as I fought and screamed to make them stop.

They didn’t. Obviously.

Taking a breath, I curled the ends of the towel once more around my waist and opened the bathroom door. We were still in the RV overlooking the Joshua Tree desert. The bump outs were extended, so my pack was all sitting in the living/dining area. Paradise was at the table, coloring with Leith. Briar was sitting and playing on his phone. Sutton and Nicolai were on the couch, Sutton reading while Nicolai watched television.

They all looked up when I joined them and their attention remained on me since I’d come out in a towel. I’d avoided the conversation about bites outside of Ryan’s phone calls. But I’d decided a couple months ago. It was all about working up to it.

“What’s wrong, agápi?” Nicolai asked, leaning forward.

Before he could get off the couch and come to me, I crossed the small area to him and climbed onto his lap, straddling him. He immediately wrapped me in his arms and kissed my neck, my shoulder, purring as he tried to comfort me. Thinking I was upset. Maybe I should have focused on neutralizing my expression before I left the bathroom.

“Nothing’s wrong,” I said, lacing my fingers into his hair and sighing. After a minute, I pulled his face back so I could look at him. My alpha. He loved me so much that he stole me away in the night so he could give me a better life.

His expression said he wasn’t quite convinced. I pressed my lips to his and kissed him until he was. It didn’t take long as he explored my mouth and relaxed against me.

I pet his face, making him smile. “I’m ready for you to bite me,” I said.

His eyes widened, but his smile faded. “Are you sure? What happened? Are they getting worse?”

“No,” I said, kissing him again. “I got brave enough to look at myself.”

It was clear he wasn’t sure what that meant. The way the other alphas shifted in the room said that they were all ready to jump into defense and assure the omega mode, so I quickly continued.

“I don’t like seeing myself,” I confessed. “I never have, which until we left Chaingate wasn’t an issue. There weren’t mirrors in the omega bathrooms. But I hated seeing myself. I only saw them and what I was to them. As you can imagine, their bites only made that worse. But I felt good today, so I looked. And… I don’t hate what I see anymore.”

Nicolai hugged me fiercely. Sutton couldn’t take it either and shifted on the couch to wrap around us, too. They were both purring, letting their soothing touch seep into me and take away my pain.

I smiled, not pushing them away when I spoke next. “I want your bite, Nicolai. It’s something I have wanted since you took me away. But I was too scared to ask and then, other circumstances occurred and I was scared for different reasons. A couple months ago I decided I am ready for your bite, but it was a matter of not being able to look at myself to say so.”

My words were probably confusing but my pack didn’t move around me. They nodded as if they understood.

“I’m ready now. First, I want just your bite. Not to cover one of theirs, but your own. Eventually, I want you to cover all of theirs; but I need something that’s just ours first.”

“I love you so fucking much, Ayri,” Nicolai said. “Do you know that? Do I tell you enough?”

Tears stung my eyes as I nodded. “You can tell me as often as you want, but yes, I know, alpha.”

I pulled away to look at him, placing my hands on either side of his face, and stared into his eyes. “Nika, I was always supposed to be yours. I believe that. There was one alpha I was made for, specifically.”

He smiled. I looked at Sutton coyly. “You were made for alphas too.”

Sutton laughed and nipped at my shoulder.

Sighing, I rested my head against Sutton’s as I continued to look at Nicolai. “I want all my alphas’ bites,” I said. “But I don’t think I can handle much more right now. There are already too many presences inside me.”

“We know,” Briar said. “No bites don’t make you any less a part of this pack, Ayri. You’re still ours, and we’ll make sure you know that every single day.”

Sighing, I nodded. “I know.”

“This is a good idea,” Leith said. “Just Nicolai. He can work through everything with you and Ryan’s help to help drown out the others. When you’re ready, you can add more.”

“Maybe you don’t need to have our bites specifically right away, either,” Sutton said. He touched Nicolai’s chest. “We’ve talked about exchanging bites with Nika, but we were waiting in case you didn’t want a whole new pack to add to or replace the one already there. Too many voices.”

I looked at him, brows knitted together. “Really? You didn’t because of me?”

Sutton’s smile was soft as he leaned in and kissed me. It was rare that he did. I didn’t doubt that I was his omega, too, but as he said all along, he was an alpha man. That didn’t mean he didn’t love me. Our affection and relationship were just a little different.

“Of course, Ayri,” he said, licking my lips before pressing his tongue against mine again. “Alpha means our needs will always come second to the needs of our packmates. As brave as you are, and you’re fucking incredibly brave, we know you struggle, sweet, perfect omega. We won’t add to that.”

Tears stung my eyes as I wrapped an arm around him. He brushed his cheek against mine, giving me his scent. “Thank you,” I whispered.

“Anything for you, Ayri,” he whispered back. “Not because we have to, or it’s expected of us. But because we want to.”

Taking a breath, I pulled away and wiped my face. He kissed my cheek and moved back to his seat, giving me and Nicolai space. I looked at my alpha again. “So… will you bite me?”

He nodded, his grin huge. “Absolutely. I’ve wanted to bite you since the day I first met your eyes.”

“I wish you would have.”

“Mm. Me too.”

After another kiss, I sat back and waited.

“Where?” he asked.

“Anywhere.”

Nicolai nodded, trailing his hands over my torso. He avoided the bites as he went, tracing my smooth skin. My arms. My neck and back. Nicolai pulled me to him and kissed my neck, my shoulder. My ear and jaw and hairline.

I wasn’t expecting his bite when it finally came. His teeth sank into my neck and I gasped.

The only thing I really remember about the Mavericks biting me was the misery and pain I was in. Then there was a flood of their emotions, hot and overpowering. One after another, I was pulled under a heavy current, unable to catch my breath. I was pretty sure it was the internal onslaught of what they were doing to me that made me pass out the second time.

This was entirely different. Lights danced in my eyes and there was a new rush inside me. My heart raced, waiting for the sensation of drowning to kick in again. It didn’t come. Instead, it felt like a warm blanket being wrapped around me. Securing me to Nicolai in a way that felt like metal cables. Permanent. Both flexible and inflexible at the same time.

It was love so deep that I was panting while he filled me with how much I meant to him. Letting me feel the words he told me and ones he didn’t.

The feeling snaked all around inside me. When the other alphas felt the new presence, there was a moment where they surged up with possessive fury. Nicolai didn’t respond in kind. It wasn’t his anger or his possession that met theirs, though I could feel an undercurrent of that, too. But it was softness. Devotion. Loyalty. Security. Home.

Everything good that he could give me, he did. And while he didn’t push back with the force of a battering ram like they were using to attempt to drive him out, he still overpowered them until they were metaphorically in the corner.

Tears ran down my cheeks as he removed his teeth from my skin and gently licked and sucked at the bite. Soothing it. Soothing me. Caring for me the way an alpha should after he bites his omega.

“Okay?” he asked quietly.

I wrapped my arms around him and nodded, unable to find words. I was more than okay. This was perfect. Everything.

“Love you,” I choked out.

His purring picked up again as he continued to care for my bite. “Mm,” he whispered. He didn’t answer with words, but I swear, I could hear his voice in my head telling me how much he loved me.

Bites weren’t scary. With the right alpha, they were everything.