All Tied Up

Sage

I took half the day off today because Jordan and River wanted to have brunch. Since Sparrow likes to sleep late, they don’t want to wake him or they’ll be dealing with a cranky little boy. I accept that. Zarek gets cranky in the morning when he’s woken up, too.

A grin spreads across my face at the thought. These last few weeks in our new house have been everything. This is the family, love, and support I never thought I’d have. Sometimes, I still get tears in my eyes because I can’t believe this is really my life.

I love every man in my house. Man. There isn’t a woman in sight! I have men in my house. In my bed. In my body! I’m no longer that scared gay boy pretending to be straight so his mother will love him. I’m a happy gay man, married to another man, and we have a very big family.

There’s never a moment of silence. I’m never alone. There’s always someone around if I need to remind myself that I’m really living this life.

I think that we all kind of have that within us. Zarek will also seek company when he’s been alone too long. I think he does it to remind himself that this big family that he wasn’t really sure about is his. He’s really living this weird life that still gives him moments of doubt.

Simon never likes to be alone. He doesn’t care who’s around. He also doesn’t like to go too long without someone touching him. Even if it’s just our knees brushing together. Or our ankles. I’m not sure if it’s because he’s gone so long with the twins always in physical contact or if it runs deeper than that—the loss of his parents’ physical affection so suddenly when he was a child.

The twins are simply never alone. If they’re not with Zarek, Simon, or me, they’re together. I’m not sure they know how to function alone. It’s almost amusing.

Even Quin will choose to sit in the same room with someone as opposed to being by himself. Though I don’t think it’s for any of the reasons the rest of us have. I think he does it to make sure we know he’s there for anything we need.

It’s become obvious now that we have a place of our own, are unpacked and settling that Quin is as much a caregiver as Damon. Where Damon focuses on the people around him and works through his touch and his words, Quin is there for everything else. Blankets when he thinks we’re getting cold. Snacks if it’s been a while since we ate. He has our beverages of choice memorized. He knows exactly what we like to eat and how it’s prepared.

When Zarek came down with a cold last week, Quin basically nursed him back to health. I think it was the surprise of seeing it mixed with a shocking moment of appreciation from Declan that had him allowing Quin to do it. He simply had no words as he stared in shock at the whole thing.

This is my family. I fall in love all over again every single day.

I’m early to the garden café and secure a table outside by a patch of grass for Sparrow to play on. He’s thirty-five weeks old now and moving around like he’s got a fresh set of batteries. He’s a very happy child, always smiling and laughing. And is already really good at entertaining himself too.

There’s little I love more than watching him. Cuddling him tops it, but he’s so busy now that he doesn’t like to sit still for long. He’s also a very pretty boy with dark hair and piercing, light eyes. He says Da and Pa and sign the word ‘more’. Those are his three favorite words. I’m still not sure which parent is Da and which is Pa. They seem to answer to both. While they also try to override the Mama with Da or Pa, they also answer to Mama.

The point is that Sparrow associates parental roles and names with his parents. With love and care. With the people and faces who will always make him stop crying. Those who will feed him, love him, cuddle him, and give him anything he wants. What Sparrow decides to call them will be his choice.

Honestly, Jordan and River are still my couple goals. They’re so in sync, so in love. It makes my heart full to see them together. To watch them interact and parent and just grow together.

I order the drinks I know everyone likes and I’m scrolling through my phone when they finally arrive.

Getting to my feet, I hold my hands out and Sparrow flops himself from Jordan’s arms into my hold. There’s nothing like the feel of little arms wrapping around your neck in a hug. All the strength they have in their little bodies being channeled into that embrace. I squeeze him gently while I coo to him.

“Look how big you are, Sparrow. My goodness, you need to slow down. You cannot keep growing in the weeks I don’t see you!”

He giggles as if he understands. I set him in the high chair before hugging Jordan. I’m surprised when he holds me tightly for a minute. “I love to see how much you smile now,” he murmurs. “I’m so fucking proud of you, Sage.”

I’m finding that I’m a rather big sap. Of course, tears sting my eyes and I have to blink them away. “Thanks,” I whisper. If I speak any louder my voice is going to crack. He kisses my cheek, which is new, and then lets me go. I stare at him for a minute but he just smiles and takes his seat next to Sparrow.

River watches him too, a fond, affectionate smile on their lips. They turn to me and grin. I love to see the array of clothing River wears. Today it’s gym shorts and a loose tank, showing off their lean frame and the little sparrow tattoo on their right pec.

I give River a hug and we take our seats too, just as the waiter arrives with our drinks. While he’s here, we order. River orders for Jordan and Sparrow while Jordan attends to Sparrow, using a sippy cup with formula.

“What do you think?” River asks, nudging Jordan. “Nice ass, yeah?”

Jordan looks up and I’m amused to find his gaze tracking the waiter. Until he realizes what he’s doing and rolls his eyes. “Fuck’s sake,” he mutters and turns away.

River gives me a beaming smile. “I’m working on recognizing attraction to individuals instead of only associating it to genders,” they tell me, winking.

“Well, I agree that he has a nice ass. It’s firm and round,” I say and watch as Jordan’s gaze flickers back to the waiter. He stares, almost absently, before blinking and turning his attention back to Sparrow. I have to bite the inside of my cheek to keep in my laughter.

They tell me about Sparrow for a while. What I’ve missed in the last couple weeks. Between moving and needing to be available at a bunch of weird hours for equipment delivery and then receiving people to set up the equipment, I haven’t had a chance to see them in a while. We talk and text all the time, but that’s not the same as seeing them in person.

Our food comes and we continue to fill each other in on what’s happening in each other’s lives. They love to hear about my new family. I’m really excited to be able to have them over soon. We want to finish getting rid of the clusters of boxes all over but then we’ll be inviting our friends over for a gathering in the backyard.

When the plates are cleared away and Sparrow’s no longer sticky and playing in the grass with the bag of travel toys they always have with them, Jordan pulls my hand and sets a folded piece of paper in it.

“I feel like we’re in school and passing notes,” I say as I take it, looking at him with curiosity.

Jordan just grins at me, sitting back in his chair to wrap his arm around River.

I don’t know why, but my heart is pounding as I unfold it. It’s a string of black and white images and little words all over the edges. Sometimes within the grainy images. It isn’t until I find an image with three circles and the annotations over each ‘Baby A’, ‘Baby B’, ‘Baby C’ that I think I know what I’m looking at.

Sucking a breath, I look up. “You’re having another baby?” I ask, my arms breaking out in chills.

They’re beaming at me. River nods, but Jordan says, “Not just a baby. Three. Triplets, Sage. We’re having triplets.”

“Ohmygosh!” I say, and this time I let my sappy soul shed the tears that gather in my eyes, even as I wipe them away, my cheeks heating slightly. “That’s so exciting. I can’t believe you’re having three. Congratulations!”

Jordan’s still grinning at me. “It’s the same surrogate that carried Sparrow. They transferred five fertilized eggs and three stuck. We’ve been waiting until she’s into the second trimester to share the news because multiple birth pregnancies are difficult and, well, any number of things could happen. She just passed thirteen weeks yesterday.”

Yep, I’m still sobbing. “I’m so happy for you,” I say. “I’m so excited to meet them.”

“We are too,” River says.

“When will they be here?” I ask.

“Triplets usually gestate until about the thirty-third week,” River tells me. “There’s just not enough room in there for much longer. So we expect within another five months.”

“I’m so excited!” I’m nearly bouncing out of my chair as I stare at the pictures again. “I bet your sister is through the roof.”

“We haven’t told anyone else yet.” Their words make my heart soar and now I’m basically blubbering like a baby.

Jordan’s hand lands on my knee and I meet his eyes through my watery ones as I sniff. “We actually want to ask if you’ll help us when they come,” he says quietly. “With Sparrow and maybe some other things. One baby is a handful, but he’ll be running around by then and getting into everything. It’s a little terrifying to think that we’ll have three brand new babies to bring home and a terror running loose in the house.”

“You want my help?” I whisper, eyes wide. “Really?”

He smiles, a quiet laugh in his voice. “Yeah, honey. Yours. You’re the first person we thought to ask and the one we’d prefer in our space while we get used to being a family of six—doubling in size in an instant.”

I’m suddenly on my feet and pulling him up to strangle him in a hug. “Yes,” I say through my tears. “Thank you for asking me. Definitely. I’ll do anything to help.”

Jordan chuckles. “I know, Sage. You’re an amazing man and outside of my family, my absolute favorite person in the entire world. Just so you know.”

Yep, now I’m sobbing like a baby. So much so that even little Sparrow crawls to me and hits my leg until I look down at him. The concern in his little eyes, filling with tears because he thinks I’m upset, just cracks my heart. I reach down for him, and he hugs me again, wrapping those little arms around me.

By the time I leave them, I’m still sniffling when I pull up to the new gym. Damon’s standing against his car with a bag slung over his shoulder, smiling until he sees how red and blotchy my face is. I’m barely out of my car before he wraps me in his arms. “What’s wrong, Najee? What happened?”

“Nothing,” I say through a shaky laugh. Because Jordan and River gave me permission, I tell him about our visit.

Damon’s now smiling at me with my face cupped in his hands. “I’m so happy for you,” he says, kissing my lips.

“I can’t believe they trust me with their baby. And around their brand-new ones,” I say, hearing the awe in my voice.

“Of course they do, my love. There’s no one more genuine and caring than you.” He presses his mouth to mine. “You’re going to be a great father one day.”

I shake at his words. We’re not ready for that, are we?

“Come on. Take me inside and show me around.”

He takes my hand, but I lead him in, unlocking the door and turning off the alarm. Damon locks the door behind us so no random person walks into the just barely not a construction site. I show him all the different rooms and things we have set up. I tell him in probably more detail than necessary about what it took to set some things up and what we plan to do in other parts of the gym.

Damon is always so patient with me. He smiles as he listens, but proves that he’s actually paying attention to what I’m saying by asking questions. Everything about him makes my heart happy.

He pulls me back through the rooms, looking around at the corners and the equipment. I watch as he grips one of the bars and hoists himself up in a couple pull-ups before dropping again.

“Are the cameras set up yet?” he asks.

I shake my head. “They’re still in boxes. Install is scheduled for another couple weeks.”

He grins, and I recognize the glint in his eyes. “Yeah?”

Swallowing, I nod. Heat floods my body by the look he gives me.

“Want to try something with me?”

I look around frantically. “Here? Someone could see. Someone could walk in.”

“Is anyone scheduled to be here today?” he asks, pulling me to him and running his hands sensually down my arms. A shiver races over my skin, leaving all the little hairs standing on end. While my dick thickens dangerously fast.

“No,” I breathe.

Damon drops his bag and then pulls out a rope. One I recognize immediately and my breath catches. “What do you think, Najee? Want to let me tie you to this machine until you’re practically hanging and let me fuck you until you’re screaming? My name echoing off the walls as it falls from your lips after I suck you down so you can come.”

I shudder and nod. Already I’m swaying as I grip my cock. This man, he just does it for me. How can a single person make me this… dizzy? Make me feel this good?

He strips me down slowly, his fingers gliding smoothly over my skin. His lips follow as he murmurs dirty words to me. I’m trembling by the time he pulls my hand to him and wraps the rope firmly around my wrist. Then he strings it over the pull-up bar, hauling it until I’m practically on my toes, and secures my other wrist.

Before he’s finished, he has my ankles tied, legs spread. Then he stands in front of me, licking his lips. I’m not quite suspended, but I certainly have no purchase on the floor. He kisses me, trailing his hand over my chest and stomach until he’s standing behind me.

It’s only then that I realize there’s a mirror in front of us and I can still see him. “Ohmygosh,” I groan as my cock drips. I watch, transfixed and slightly horrified, as my pre-cum drips from the tip of my cock and falls to the floor.

Damon chuckles and slides a towel under me. Thank fuck. I don’t want to be fired for coming all over our brand-new floor!

My eyes are trained on him in the mirror as he slowly strips his clothes. I’m practically breathless when he finally stands behind me, naked with his dick in his hand, stroking it slowly as his heated eyes hold mine in the mirror.

I watch without really seeing what he’s doing while he pushes his fingers inside me. One for three thrusts and then two. Three. Pushing lube inside me. Because he’s not being slow, I know he’s very excited. I’m not at all surprised when he’s already pulled his fingers from me, and they’re replaced with the head of his dick.

“Ready, Najee?” he asks. I love how breathless he is. That I do this to him.

Nodding frantically, I practically yell, “Yes!”

Damon slams home in one hard thrust, making me cry out and my vision blur. He’s fucking me, deep and hard, before I can catch my breath. His hands are tight on my hips. His mouth on my shoulder, sucking a bruise into my skin as I try to do anything to move with him. Against him. Anything.

I’m gripping the rope around my wrists as the only leverage I have, because with him fucking me like he is, my feet don’t reach the floor at all.

Though my vision is blurred like I’ve been spinning around for an hour, I stare at our reflections. The way his eyes are locked on mine. His hands gripping my hips tightly. And then one moves up to wrap around my chest. His hips slam into mine, over and over. The slapping of our bodies, our grunts, fill the large space.

I’m so close but I’m not begging this time. I want to live in this moment where my husband uses my body and I can see the way he looks at me while he does. The way his eyes never leave my face. Always watching. Always making sure he makes me feel good.

“I love you,” I shout as he slams into my prostate like he’s hitting it with a hammer.

His mouth moves to my neck, and he sucks. The sting of the suction and then the smoothing of his tongue over my skin makes my dick leak profusely. As if it wasn’t already.

I track his mouth as it moves up to my ear, where he bites gently. It makes me groan, shudder, and try to wrench my body. I don’t know what I’m trying to do. I think I just fight against the ropes because they’re there. Not because I’m uncomfortable or in pain. Everything about this is the best pleasure I’ve ever felt.

Maybe I shouldn’t feel this way, but it’s these moments when I feel most wanted. Most seen. When I’ve handed Damon complete control of my body and pleasure, to do with as he wants. He never abuses that trust. He gives me everything. I’m his first and only priority in these moments.

“I love you too, Sage Whitaker. My husband. My life and forever. You’re mine. I will never, ever live without you, my big sweet puppy.”

I want to hug him, but all I can do is smile at him dreamily in the mirror.

“Now I’m going to fill your ass with my seed. Then I’m going to suck you until you’re screaming as you fill my throat. You want that, precious?”

“Yes!”

“How bad do you want it?”

“Fill my ass,” I shout. “I need to feel your cum dripping out of me as I come.”

He groans and really, that’s all I remember. Pleasure overtakes me and I fall into it, knowing that my husband will always be there to take care of me. To catch me. And to care for me while I’m gone.

Damon loves me. I’m enough for him.